life_inshadow: ([neg] bowed head)
[personal profile] life_inshadow
Tara couldn't remember when or how, but she must have fallen asleep at some point after she got back to the dorms. She woke up in a sticky ball on top of her covers, still dressed in the clothes she'd yanked on Thursday night.

She felt filthy, as if she were covered in Raven's blood and -- more. She felt as if her mind was no longer her own, and never would be again.

The first order of business was a long, hot shower that didn't seem to do much beyond removing some obvious grime from her skin. She dressed quickly, and put her hair back.

More grateful than usual for her lack of a roommate, Tara then laid a double line of salt at her doorstep and, after a quick chant to Astraea for her own purity, started methodically going through her spellbooks. She'd never taken special precautions against possession in the past, but there had to be a way to ensure no one would ever use her that way again.

The way she'd been used was bad enough already.

[OOC: Closed door, open post. Player will be on and off today.]

Date: 2011-01-17 06:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"Don't suppose you could learn how to do that," Kennedy offered, mostly joking, or trying to. Probably not her best joke ever, under the circumstances.

Date: 2011-01-17 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"I know." Now Kennedy did pull back, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and looking incredibly embarrassed about it; she slumped to her knees on the floor in front of Tara. "I spent all night going over everything we could've done differently and didn't. Like every little thing we could've done sooner, and then maybe we wouldn't have gotten played like we did, and Jesus Christ, Tara, we killed her."

Great. She'd thought she was done crying.

Date: 2011-01-17 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"I could have tried to get through to you more," added Kennedy, who seemed just as inclined to keep riding the what-if train for the moment. "God-- I knew something was off with you, and I didn't do anything to try and fix it, and... "

For the first time since they'd gotten back, she really looked at Tara, trying to get it into her head that this wasn't the being who'd possessed her any more, just her girl again. There were too many more images she couldn't shake: Sookie's unhinged fae rage, Karla and her whips of Sapphire energy, Jono letting loose with a wall of flame, the look on Emma's face, Raven's broken body... She needed something to displace a little of that horror, and this was her best bet.

"We all let her down," she murmured, finally. "But she tried to get us to kill you, too. I couldn't do that."

The rationalization wasn't nearly as comforting as she'd hoped.

Date: 2011-01-18 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"I'm grateful for that," Kennedy said fiercely, scooting forward to rest her chin against Tara's knee. "It doesn't make this any better, but I wasn't gonna lose you too."

Date: 2011-01-18 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"Right." Kennedy tried to muster a shaky smile for her, and halfway succeeded. "Put things back together-- baby, c'mere."

Damned if she was going to sit here and let Tara cry without at least offering a shoulder to cry on, right?

[[i like special. :D]]

Date: 2011-01-18 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"That's all I need right now," Kennedy rasped, curling into her. "I'm not exactly together myself, y'know. Just... kinda need to be here. That okay with you?"

Date: 2011-01-18 01:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"Good. We'll start from there." Kennedy slid her arms around Tara's waist and just held on, still too tired and mentally exhausted to have anything encouraging to say; even if she did, she wasn't sure she could say it like she meant it. "Sorry I didn't come find you last night. Really am."

Date: 2011-01-18 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"And I was in the kind of mood where I either would've let you, or stood outside the door and yelled," Kennedy said wryly. "So pretty much bad, either way."

She shook her head. "I missed you, though."

Date: 2011-01-18 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brat-intraining.livejournal.com
"This is one thing I can definitely stand to not have to go through again," Kennedy answered, turning to kiss her forehead. "God, I'm just damn glad you're you again."

And if she had to figure out a way to physically kick the ass of anything that tried to possess Tara again, she'd probably try to do it.

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