Tara + Kennedy's Room at Sa Diablo Hall, Friday Afternoon Fandom Time

[life_inshadow]

After her visit to Raven, Tara had spent most of the day lying in bed. She wasn't sad -- not exactly. But she was feeling very thoughtful and troubled and inside-her-head-y, and even the pleasures of the keep weren't enough to have her very social.

She kept coming back to two facts that didn't make much sense next to each other. One was that she'd killed. In self-defense, maybe, and not a human -- but there was still blood on her hands, and she felt guilt for that.

Yet, beneath that, she felt a yearning that she had been able to do more. Not more killing, of course -- but her shields were puny, her telekinesis weak, her offensive magic basically nonexistent. She knew she could do more, if she was brave enough to play with spells just a little further into the gray than she normally let herself go.

It was dangerous. She knew witches could get lost chasing the rush of strong magics. But she almost felt like it was hard to say it wasn't worth the risk, if it could save her friends.

[OOC: Open to those in Kaeleer. NFB. Part of this thing.]

Comments

[life_inshadow]

"I wear skirts all the time. They don't give you cancer or anything," Tara protested back, but idly, in a way that didn't really expect Kennedy to agree. (Besides, her skirts weren't so much on the flippy little end of the spectrum.)

She looked guilty at the next bit. "Mmmm, not so much. I went to see Raven, but that was about it. She's -- dealing."

[brat-intraining.livejournal.com]

"I do actually know how to wear one," Kennedy returned, her tone light in the way of not really trying to win the argument. "I just don't, usually."

She absently reached down to catch the tips of Tara's fingers with her own. "Girl had a really rough time of it when everything went down, huh?"

[life_inshadow]

Tara squeezed the fingertips in response before she answered. "More than in just an empath way," she answered. "The whole thing reminded her of her dad. She said she was worried he'd come out."

She shrugged a little. "I told her I felt safer with her than with almost anyone."

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"Mmm," agreed Kennedy vaguely. "I think most people would file that under ironic, all things considered, but I'm with you on it."

Thinking about 'the whole thing,' though, drew a slight shiver she couldn't hold back. "God." Kennedy rubbed at her arm again, like she still couldn't get rid of the feeling of something gross and sticky. "That was kind of terrifying, huh."

[life_inshadow]

"It was horrible," Tara said. "It was -- I never imagined anything that bad, ever. I d-d-didn't know what we were in for. I don't know if I would have come, if I had."

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Kennedy moved to wrap both arms around Tara and pull her close. "I didn't anticipate this much bad. Didn't even realize the scale for bad went that high," she admitted, "but I'm not sorry I came."

She fell silent for a moment before murmuring, "Please tell me you're gonna be okay?"

[life_inshadow]

"No," Tara agreed firmly. "Definitely not sorry I came."

She didn't answer the part about being okay, because she honestly wasn't sure.

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Which... yeah, the omission did not escape Kennedy.

"If you don't think the answer is yes, I get it," she offered in a quiet voice.

[life_inshadow]

"I think the answer is I don't know," Tara said, grateful for Kennedy's catch. "There were a lot of dead people. It's not like I just shake that off."

Equally quiet, she added, "Are you okay?"

[brat-intraining.livejournal.com]

Kennedy went silent for several very long, weighted moments and finally shook her head. "Not so much, no." So her voice cracked a tiny bit; she wouldn't deny it.

[life_inshadow]

Tara reached to draw Kennedy into a hug. "We will be," she promised, with a tiny quaver in her voice that doubted it.

[brat-intraining.livejournal.com]

"Always are, right?" Kennedy couldn't quite put her usual easy confidence into the question today; no, she was kind of clinging to Tara a little too much for that.

[life_inshadow]

"Strong like Amazons," Tara answered, something like desperation in her tone. Kennedy never clinged. "It's just -- just going to take a while before we're back to normal."

[brat-intraining.livejournal.com]

Kennedy wasn't a fan of being clingy, truth be told; she'd gotten it into her head that she was supposed to be the tough one, and she couldn't be that when she was clingy, and... bah. Felt like she was letting Tara down this way, so she forced a little more stubbornness into her voice.

"Well, for as much as normal applies when you have fronds like we do, we're gonna be fine." Maybe she could say it out loud a few more times? It was sort of convincing. "We're... just totally allowed a little breather before we start working on that."

[life_inshadow]

Tara caught that forced note and drew up her resolve. She knew she tended to rely on Kennedy too much sometimes, because it was easy. But if Kennedy needed her to be stronger...

She nodded, more enthusiastically than before. "Right," she said. "We can just go home and ... be normal. Normal, normal, normal. It'll help."

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"Normal," echoed Kennedy, a touch more steady now. "We can rock the normal."

She took another breath then, impulsively, leaned in to kiss Tara. Call it gratitude or comfort or whatever, it just seemed like a necessary thing.

[life_inshadow]

"Normal," Tara agreed, once she drew back enough to talk. She wanted to just drown in that kiss. "If we're normal together, everything else will just ... kind of happen."

[brat-intraining.livejournal.com]

"And we're still an awesome team," added Kennedy, lingering close enough to touch her forehead to Tara's. "So we'll make it happen."